Thursday, February 3, 2011

How Did I Become the Bad Guy?

It happened this morning as I asked Andrew if he tested for ketones this morning. We are experiencing a temporary "honeymoon" without insulin, but I still have him test for ketones.  I'm afraid that one day out of the blue his blood sugars will just go crazy.  So, I say, "Andrew did you test this morning?".  "Yes mom", he said.  As I was standing in the bathroom having this conversation, I glanced down at the garbage can and did not see the stick.  I proceeded,"Where did you put the stick?".  "In the trash", he said.  "Where in the trash", I asked.  "At the bottom", he said.  Now, I'm looking at a trash can full of paper towels and dixie cups.  I then asked, "Did the stick have to travel over, around and through the paper towels and dixie cups to get to the bottom?".  He said, "YES!".

When we had a discussion about why he lied, he said, "I don't like doing that in the morning".  I'm feeling a little battle going on especially since we have the celiac disease added on top of the diabetes.  It just seems like he has such little control over things now and I become the dictator over his every move.

So tonight, the kids got some fire balls candy at an event.  He knew that they contained sugar and could not have one.  As I tucked him for bed, I came in close for a hug.  There it was.....the overwhelming smell of cinnamon!  I proceeded to ask, "Did you try those fire balls that I told you you weren't allowed?"  SILENCE!!!! Cricket....Cricket..... I again asked, "Did you taste that candy?"  "Yes, I just had a lick.  I wanted to see what they tasted like."

For those of you that have been though this for some time, how do you handle these situations?  I want him to feel free to open up to me and know that even though I might be disappointed in his behavior, it doesn't make me love him any less.  I know it's best to pick your fights, but lying in not acceptable in my house.  This has not been a problem until his dual diagnosis.  Honestly, I can't blame him, but on the other hand, I just cannot tolerate it.


  1. Apparently, lying about testing can be a problem with diabetic teens. I'm sorry, but I smiled at his answer...."I had a lick." So adorable. (When it isn't MY kid, haha). Have you watched the video on the site..."Our new adventure" ? The educator addressed this very issue. I found it to be helpful. I will say that in parenting, I have found with ANY issue, there are no silver bullets. You are doing a great job just by staying engaged.

  2. Hi Shannon,
    I actually did start watching that video but my computer kept buffering. It was so bad that he couldn't get through one sentence without it stopping. I'll have to try it on my husband's computer or even my Nook. I think I need to sit Andrew down today and really have a heart to heart. Thank you for the support!

  3. I know you guys aren't doing insulin right now, so maybe things are different, but...

    In my experience, I've learned that if I withhold something from her, she'll rebel. So I accommodate the things I doing so, I find that I'm able to hold firm on some of the things I can't. Like a cupcake with a BS of 400. NO. We need to correct and bring that number down first. Period. She's had enough smaller requests accommodated along the way that she knows I'm not just being "mean".

    Same for testing. If she's not feeling like she wants to do it herself, I'll take over so she doesn't have to. Sometimes all she wants is independence....other times, she just wants to be a kid and let the adult deal with the "big stuff". I don't make an issue -- I simply step in and take back the reigns until she's ready to get back in the game.

    Have no idea if this makes any sense, btw :)

  4. Hi Wendy,
    Since I don't know how long we'll have until he needs insulin, I'm still following the diet plan from the nutritionist when he was diagnosed. Adding the celiac diagnosis shortly after just made things worse for us. The restrictions are hard as you know personally. I guess the thing I struggle with most is that I know the health implications if he doesn't follow his celiac diet and keep his blood sugars where they need to be. He's had so much coming at him at once and I don't want to become the bad guy since I'm the one in charge of his dietary needs and restrictions. I want to continue having a trusting relationship.

  5. I agree with Wendy. Its do different for us. As type 1s our kids can have sweets we just bolus for it. Ofcourse when J is high theres no way hes having carbs.

    But youre situation is unique in his honeymoon needs no insulin and hes been put on a diet.

    I wish I had a better response. Maybe discuss this with endo and see if changes can be made for more freedom?

    Sorry I cant be much help.

  6. Thank you for responding Alexis. I guess we just have to get through this adjustment period.

  7. Nikki, YES your situation is unique, but aren't all of ours? Each of us have decisions to make about how we raise our kids, what boundaries we put in place, what language we use, setting our morals and values to a standard, on and on. Then through a chronic illness (or 2!) in the mix and it just compounds the level of difficulty.

    Just know the common thread here is we are all caring and loving parents who struggle daily with caring for our T1D's. While we may not all experience the same situation, we do experience similar emotions and will support the heck out of you because we 'get it.'

    I am sorry you are struggling. I aplaud you for sharing your angst and reaching out for advice. I wish I could give you a better answer than 'keep on keeping on.'

    You are the mom and will do what is best for you and your family. It is ALWAYS the right decision. Take comfort in that, sweet lady.